Juggling Work, Parenting & Sanity as a Single Mum

A (not so) brief introduction to me and why I created The Mummy Memo.

My First Post: Feels Like Online Dating...

So, here it is, my first post on Substack. It kind of feels like online dating, doesn’t it? You spend ages thinking about it, then finally take the plunge, create a profile and do a bit of window shopping. Next thing you know, you send your first message. Some conversations fizzle out, but one person catches your eye. They suggest meeting up. Suddenly, panic sets in. An actual meeting might shatter the illusion you’ve built. But you agree anyway, because why not? The date either goes wonderfully or ends in disaster. And right now, here I am, feeling exactly the same way about my first Substack post.

So, let me introduce myself like we’re on a dating app:
I’m Lucy, 42 and I live just outside London. I have a fabulous 4-year-old daughter and I’ve been a single mum for the past three years.

I’ve worked full-time since my daughter was 10 months old (fun fact: that also happened to be when I split with my ex, brilliant timing, right?). I’ve spent over 25 years in the world of magazine and book publishing, a career that's underpaid but incredibly creative, exciting and, let's be honest, stressful at times. Think insane deadlines, last-minute changes, constant approvals, working with stakeholders… the usual. The demands are endless, but sadly, the pay isn’t always what it should be. And to make it even more fun, I was juggling a toddler who doesn’t sleep with a full-time job, navigating co-parenting chaos and dealing with limited £££. It was not for the faint-hearted. Seriously, who gave single mums a bad rap? Without blowing my own trumpet, we’re bloody superheroes.

There was one time early in my single-parent journey when both my daughter and I got COVID. I was working from home on a tight print deadline, while my daughter sat on my lap. I was reading printer proofs through eyes that were barely open. Looking back it was just insanity. Or the night my daughter projectile-vomited all over her bed, herself, me and the carpet. What do you do in that situation? The answer: Put the baby in an empty bath, strip both of you down, rinse off the puke, redress the baby, find a fresh top for yourself and make sure she’s settled in a safe space. Then, you strip her bed, remake it and stick the sheets in the wash. By this point, you’re so exhausted you just don’t care about the carpet. A quick rinse with Fairy Liquid will do. Finally, you lie down next to your little one only to realise she won’t settle. So you end up falling asleep with her. And when you wake up two hours later to birdsong, you think, “No amount of coffee is going to save me today.”

Fast forward to dropping her at nursery and slipping into full-on corporate mode while simultaneously feeling like a zombie. Side note – Why does no one talk about the chronic sleep deprivation new mums face? My daughter’s still a terrible sleeper (yes, we still co-sleep), and I get about one or two hours of alone time each night because I’m the mum who lies with her until she falls asleep. Don’t judge me.

Amid all of this, I often felt like I was just about to have a nervy b. Seriously as an anxious person, my anxiety had reached new heights that well exceeded the roof. I was in survival mode 24/7. I was great at being a mum (because that was my priority), but as for my career? I was barely keeping it together. I spent every child-free moment obsessing about work, worrying I’d messed something up (when in reality I hadn’t) but my brain was just working in survival mode.

Then, one day, it all came to a head. After a particularly stressful day at work, I drove my car (very slowly I might add) into the side of my garage. My car door crumpled… and so did I. I just sat on my bed and cried. I didn’t know who to talk to. I had amazing friends, but it was school pick-up time and I didn’t want to burden them. Eventually, I called the Samaritans, not because I was in crisis, but because I just needed to offload. The relief was immense. They were such a help in that moment.

Around the same time, I was prepping for a holiday (supposedly to “relax”) but had burnt myself out trying to get everything ready, whilst working and parenting. I had a toothache and a migraine for days and had convinced myself I had acute sinusitis. Turns out, my doctor gave me a clean bill of health and that’s when I finally broke down in tears. I explained everything to him and he suggested I take three months off work due to stress. I refused. I didn’t want to burden my colleagues, plus I knew I’d just spend three months worrying about work if I wasn’t there. Stress works in funny ways, doesn’t it? But that conversation was a wake-up call. It was time to change things. I didn’t not want to continue living this way.

With a bit of savings behind me, I went freelance as a writer and editor. The first couple of months were far from relaxing. I was still in fight-or-flight mode, but slowly, I began to return to myself. I could actually enjoy weekends without feeling anxious. I could have a glass of wine without spiralling into a panic. I started eating better, exercising and finally gave myself space to be more than just a corporate worker and a mum.

So, why did I create The Mummy Memo? Well, we live in a world that’s always on and I know what it is like to always be on. It is not good for anyone. If you’re anything like me when you do take a little ‘you’ time you can often spend hours doom-scrolling without taking anything of value in. It doesn’t feel like self care, but the energy to find any quality content can sometimes feel too much. Then I had an idea. As a freelancer, I subscribe to a few newsletters that curate the best freelance writing jobs out there. And I got me thinking: Why isn’t there something like that for parents? A newsletter that curates the week’s highlights – something fun, relatable and packed with pop culture, current affairs, memes, self-care tips (because let’s be real, washing your hair doesn’t count as self-care), wholesome wellness, nostalgia, laughs and everything in between. A virtual catch-up with your favourite mum mate over coffee, carving out that precious hour for yourself to discover the best podcasts, TV shows, parenting hacks and more, recommendations that’ll bring joy, value and a bit of sparkle to your everyday life.

The first Mummy Memo will land in subscribers’ inboxes on 14th February (yes it’s a while off, but I’ll be posting loads on here in the build up and it means you’ll be sure to have something exciting to open on Valentine’s Day). Let’s hope I’ve got a few subscribers by then, because speaking into the void isn’t anyone’s idea of fun. If you liked what you’ve read, relate to any of it or just want to chat, I’m here. Please subscribe – even if it’s just out of pity. And leave a comment below if you can relate to any of the above. I’d love to connect.

Let’s create a fun, no-pressure parenting community to celebrate the good times and commiserate when the shit hits the fan.